Exactly
To impress
and to make use of the net connection which so longingly stares at me every time i exploit it .
The table screeches for ............what do you call it ?..."spring cleaning" and every time i sort out the wires ,pretending in front of my mom that hey .. you know what ,'you have a cool daughter ',
I falter with them
as an intrusion into their love making
their intercourse
their sexual curiosity .
so i stay away
because
i am a good girl
A person who tries to work her brain in the most uneventful of situations
gets an idea in the midst of geek labels
and a person who thinks of wearing goggles to protect herself from the harmful rays of the monitor .
mother says"don't sit in front of the computer so much ,its going to ruin your eyes"
i don't hear her
just the flush in the loo
its sound makes me wonder at its generosity,
its capability to create music every time its filled with crap
its refreshing
as time passes by
i wonder at the evilness of chronology
its made-to-die-for mechanism .
its social strategies
no one falls prey to it
its our prey
our nourishment
we survive on it
to grow
into what?
into spectrum's devoid of color
just techniques.
"HOW DO YOU DO THIS? "
" DO YOU LIKE IT?"
i hope you do
if you don't consult a human
because he creates.
dad tells me to be curious enough... mom surely agrees and diverts from her territorial boundary to hammer this in my DE-limited head.
i tell her that the kitchen smells nice with her in it and all the aromas flying into this ghastly room of clothes overthrown ,
coke bottles as inspiration,
strawberry smelling knickers
and a face
still staring into GMail,FB,you tube ..with so much intensity that as soon as i log out
.. the nimble fingers which scrolled through the mails start getting withdrawal symptoms ....
"we wanna go back"
yes babes .. tomorrow . we will
for now its bedtime
story time
cooooooooochy coo
blasphemy !
i am proud of myself
i am curious enough.
that solves one problem .
DAD: meg ha !!! get off the damn net., do you get me ?!!!
MEgha( lying): papa, i cant close it , there's a problem with it .
SILENCE
feels nice
doomsday
i double deal again
"dad,i have closed it "
quietly , i fumble across the room , close my door
and prance around in tribal happiness for the achievement i just discovered .
He's in hibernating state ,i think
with a blinking box in front of him calling to rejoice the new government .
its swearing
i will-
swear at them .
but that's later ,for some other day
some other late afternoon when the sun shines beastly upon us
romanticizes with the finite energy i have
and elopes me into a slumber i usually get everyday.
nap time ,kids
no, i need to write more
about so many people
things
creatures
lives ....
music
paint
i am living for so much
what for ?
why do we write each others script ?
mother wants to write mine
she writes it for my dad too,he's used to it , they enjoy playing their parts .
i am not in a habit right now
reason being , i am just CURIOUS about other things
exploring my side before i succumb to performances already enacted .
i am just on the list
no number
but still waiting .
the playwright wants me to be natural
ah ! so true
but
hey man, i need a 'pack-up'
or just a
Retake
my tantrum shows on his face
but he complies for the fear of loosing me
can i ?
be lost .
for now the curtains slowly open to reveal the histrionics..
i play the lost character of Mr.curiousity..not the lead role
just a shady vamp in the heads of the mindless
Thundering Applause
Encore
i was a born actor
i am not being jocular just trying to express something which still sits in this chaotic membrane.
'truce'
i swivel back to reality with yet another sound mixed with the flush music
Dad bangs on the door
thunder booms .
it shoots away the passion i had
it distracts the mind from blankness
it brings curiosity lying in front of me
arms flayed aside
i try to reach out for it
but its too late again
i get up with the coke in my hand
and unlock the door
receive a sense of cruel belonging again
and then retire to my territory
like a lost warrior
wounded dog
whimpering away .
stop
dad is on his seat again .. the world is back to normal
with a normal family
doing normal cooking
feeding normal people
but you know what
"Curiosity just got killed"
.........
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