end over end

LYING on the mattress, i lift my leg and then without an effort put it back to perfection . it just doesn't happen like what its supposed to be .
i guess so
you have to just take it in your head
"I've got my hands on a miracle"
listening to it , i still am a stone piece of flesh
anxiety hates it when you pamper it too much so i just accidentally get up and try t o sort myself out with the means of a butcher .
. yeah !
i need to slaughter each every piece of my beginnings to start the end
no need for anyone but just the fear for survival .

options to grasp ?

elimination
one by one


deep words get embedded into you even when you hate to have them.....
i need to sleep
to calm
to let go of myself

do i?
do you?
is it that difficult ?
hm mm.. lets just hang around in my dads room , its cool , its lonely
this piece has nothing to do with me , it just tags me along with it .. like a 'only-one'

lets think of something new , not the same old 'new' thing to brag about to all the people you're trying to coy into .

foo fighters trail into something i have never seen before
'in your honor'
my memorial goes running back to the times i glanced past
dismissed
day after day
but anyway i am the weakest right now

really me

i need a knife , a rope , a chair and a letter

not self destruction
just to make this an image of dearness
I'm tired


drained


for now

hope i get the chance to say goodbye

booth B
* BEEP *

does not exist ..

S.I.N